Emotional Breakdown

Oh boy. I was watching Birth Day, House of Babies, Run Way Moms and they were having homebirths, or births at birthing centers, and I really do want a waterbirth at the hospital (chance of that is so small) or a homebirth. I decided against the homebirth because I really didn't think I was going to still be pregnant now. And I'm really kicking myself because I do want one. Jesse isn't comfortable with it because of my low lying placenta and he's more comfortable at the hospital. But I really want a homebirth! I have an ob appt tonight and Jesse told me to talk to Dr Bart about it, but he's against homebirths, so that does no good.