Rough Times

I'm just going to make a list. I'm feeling very overwhelmed, lazy, stupid, and not a very good mother. Jesse says I'm being too hard on myself, but I can't help it. The Bad:

• I can't keep the house clean for the life of me. Everyday I clean and everyday it's the pits.
• Kailey is sneaking food into her room, lying, and blaming everyone else for it.
• Kailey refuses to wipe after using the bathroom and makes excuses why she doesn't.
• I feel like all this stuff is my fault and if I were doing a better job being a mother, it wouldn't be happening.
• Ashlyn is starting to mimic Kailey.
• I can't come up with a way to get the kids to help me or keep their rooms clean.
• I would love to loose weight before our reunion, but can't.
• I want to go clothes shopping, but hate spending the money on clothes. Would rather buy something for the house.

Well with the bad I suppose I should list the good:

• My kids are always well behaved with others.
• Kailey did her Kindergarten Roundup last night.
• Ashlyn is peeing and pooping on the potty without us asking a million times a day.
• Dylan is back in cloth.
• Hillers is FINALLY open!!!!
• We got the kids a wooden play structure.
• I planted Dylan's placenta under a Japanese Weeping Cherry tree.
• I got my front garden completed for this year. Next year I will probably move some stuff around.
• The garden in the back just needs some annuals and a plaque or something for Dylan's tree.
• Kailey got a loft bed so she can share a room with Ashlyn.
• We're getting a grill with our stimulus money.
• I really do love all my kids and want them to have a wonderful life, but I feel like I'm being walked all over.
• On top of all the bad, I would love to add another baby to our family.
• Ashlyn wants to learn how to write her name SOOOO bad!

I know I complain, but really, I do love my life, kids, and family. I know it's just a phase and it will pass. It's just so hard because I don't know anyone in the area with a large family to ask/share tips with.

The kids probably seem spoiled, but really they aren't. Sure we may take a vacation to Disney every year; Jesse did as well when he was a kid. And the kids got a play structure, but other than that, they don't get toys but on their birthday's and Christmas.