4 is enough?

When I was pregnant with Ashlyn, I thought she would be our last. I didn't like the idea, but I didn't think Jesse would go for another. Then the thought of having another boy entered his mind, then #4 was a sure deal. Once pregnant with Dylan, he started talking about getting snipped. That's when my panic started and would freak out at the thought of NEVER having anymore kids. So he said he wouldn't get it if I got another IUD. I immediately could breath again! I can't kick this feeling that someone is missing. I'm yearning for another child, it's the weirdest thing and I can't explain it. Jesse says he can't handle another which is completely odd to me since I'm the one home all day with them and I take them places all by myself. Then he told me he has "nightmares" about providing for their futures. Makes sense I guess, but our kids may not all go to college, they may not get married until their 30, and there are so many variables to just come to the conclusion that another one isn't an option. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep poking him and "how 'bout now" 'ing him. lol